


And I Will Try to Fix You

by Mother_Mercury



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Depression, First Meeting, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Insecurity, M/M, Sad Brian May, Slow Burn, brian is depressed, freddie is a delivery boy, mental health, they fall in love, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 00:35:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20957528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mother_Mercury/pseuds/Mother_Mercury
Summary: Brian is depressed and Freddie is his delivery boy. That's it.





	And I Will Try to Fix You

Brian knew he was getting bad again.

He laid in a near comatose state for the 5th day in a row. Not moving from his bed unless to use the loo or get a glass of water. Even that was a struggle. His phone died two days ago and he still hasn't put it on the charger. Not that it matter, no one was checking in on him anyways.

He stared at the ceiling for several hours, before peeling himself from the bed. He put his phone on the charger, grabbed clean clothes, and walked to the bathroom. He placed his towel and clothes on the counter and took a look at himself for the first time in five days. His curls were in one giant knot at the back of his head, his eyes blood shot from crying and not sleeping, and he could probably suffocate himself with the bags under his eyes.

Disgusted with his appearance he pulled himself away, stripped his clothes, and jumped into the hot shower. The warm water hitting his skin like a hug he desperately needed. He poured a generous amount of shampoo in his hand before lathering it into his scalp. He had no conditioner. _So dumb you can't __even __remember to buy conditioner_, he thought to himself. He scrubbed his body raw with body wash and a loofah before stepping out. Once he dressed himself, he looked in the mirror and still felt like dying. _But at least I don't stink_, he said giving himself finger guns before leaving the bathroom.

He grabbed his nearly charged phone and turned it back on. He was right, no one contacted him. Unless you count his parents sending him money, which he doesn't. They'd rather send him money than acknowledge the fact that he's gay and depressed. _Don't blame them_, he thought.

He looked through his pantry and fridge, finding only expired cheese and stale cereal. _You don't even have tea? Fuckin no good lazy sod_, he thought before sitting down. He knew he couldn't go outside yet, so he pulled up the grocery store app and placed an order; Tea, milk, sugar, prepacked salads, and conditioner. He always over tipped when he did this. He felt bad making someone else do this for him. Since he was too pathetic to do it himself. He knew he needed more, but this was good enough. He hit confirm order and waited for his delivery person to message him.

_ **Ping!** _

**Hi Brian! I'm Freddie your delivery man. Should be there in about 15 minutes! Please let me know if you have any special request. See you soon, darling!**

Brian raised an eyebrow at the overly excited text message. Who could be this happy to deliver groceries? He wanted to text him back just because he craved conversation. _Who would want to talk to you? No one likes you, _he thought to himself. He decided against it and waited for the knock. He only had to wait 13 minutes and 45 seconds.

Brian opened the door and there stood Freddie. A beautiful dark haired man holding a small shopping bag.

"Hello, Brian! I have your requested items," He said letting himself in the flat. Brian was taken back by how assertive this man was.

"Thanks, you can just put the bag on the counter," Brian shrugged.

"Nonsense, I'll help you," Freddie said putting away the 4 items in the kitchen, leaving the conditioner for Brian to put away. "Darling, you should've ordered more food. Food is good for you and good for the soul!"

He could see Freddie looking at the state of his flat and knew the beautiful man was thinking either drug addict or depressed. It was trashed and had a stale smell. He had never been so embarrassed. "Not much energy to cook, Fred," Brian said, mentally punching himself for giving the delivery boy a nickname.

Freddie's eyes lit up. "Only friends call me Fred. So I guess were friends."

"When I had friends, they called me Bri," Brian said aware he sounded pathetic.

"Alright, we're mates now. Bri, when you're feeling better and want to have a proper meal, please feel free to have me deliver the groceries," Freddie said sticking his hand out to shake.

Brian hesitated but shook it firmly. His body relaxed for the first time in days and a genuine smile was plastered across his face.

"Deal," Brian responded back before letting Freddie out.

He made himself a cuppa and grabbed a prepacked salad before settling on the couch to watch TV. He thought about texting Freddie thank you but was nervous. Freddie was just doing his job. Brian stared at his phone, chewing on his lip. Before he could make up his mind, Freddie texted him.

**Bri, thank you for the generous tip! I meant it about texting me for your next order. I'll be waiting. :)**

_He's only being nice because you tipped him, _he thought.He shook his head of that thought and texted him back.

No problem, Fred. Have a great day. Bri x

Brian smiled at the small conversation, he needed this. For the first time in five days, he opened the windows, cleaned the flat, and even put on music. It felt good to be alive again.

*

Over the next two weeks, Brian ordered groceries four times. Every 3 days, to be exact. Not that he was doing it so he could see Fred. He likes ordering fresh veggies and their soup of the day, they always taste better fresh. Okay maybe maybe he liked seeing Fred. Freddie was nice to him and Brian needed it.

He was doing better just from eating properly and having lots of conversations with Fred. Their texts didn't only consist of grocery talk, they had real conversations too. Then when Fred dropped off his groceries, he'd let himself in and they'd continue where they left off texting. He learned that Freddie needed a job where he makes his own schedule. He was trying to make it as a fashion designer and that made his life too hectic for a 9-5 job. He learned Fred's old boyfriend, Paul, didn't support him. So he kicked Paul to the curb. Brian admired Fred's bravery and strength.

Brian told Fred how he didn't get into law school this semester and his parents were outraged by it. But that outraged turned to embarrassment when Brian told them he was gay and they kicked him out of the house. They paid his rent and his living expenses but said they didn't want a disappointment under their roof. He didn't tell Fred that he's depressed, he's sure Fred already figured that out.

He felt more comfortable talking to Fred more than anyone else. Still, he was nervous that Fred was getting annoyed by him, so when the third day rolled around he didn't order anything. He sat on the couch, feeling the darkness and intrusive thoughts take over. _He probably told all his mates about the pathetic wanker he has to deliver groceries too. He only talked to you because that's his job you dumb ass. Get over yourself._

On day 4, he ordered nothing and he used his last tea bag.

On day 5, he cried for an hour. For no reason other than his brain made him. He hated himself.

On day 6, he thought about how everyone's life would be better if he was gone. He laid on the couch staring at the ceiling until he eventually knocked out. He woke up around 7 pm to an aggressive knock on his door. Followed by four more. He rolled off the couch and sauntered over to open the door. He slowly opened it, due to the fact he was still half asleep. He felt more alive when he saw Fred standing their, a smile plastered across his face and holding a takeaway bag.

"Bri! What the hell, we're in the middle of a conversation about me designing you a blazer and you just stop texting me? And then three days go by, and still noting," He said jokingly, letting himself in the flat.

"I didn't order anything, Fred. My flats a mess. I'm not showered. What are you doing here," Brian stammered.

"Don't ignore me. I asked about the blazer. If you don't like it, tell me," Freddie said taking out the food and placing it out on the table.

"I love it, obviously. But why are you here?" Brian said, still standing by the door.

"You ghosted me so I needed make sure you didn't find yourself a new delivery boy. And I figured if you didn't, you'd be hungry. Now come eat darling and let me show you my designs." Freddie said pulling Brian to the table. A slight twinkle in both their eyes.

Freddie brought Brian an enormous salad, a side of fruit, and a vitamin water. Freddie ate a some weird flatbread sandwich and a bag of crisps while he showed the other boy his current projects he's working on. Brian loved how Freddie's face lit up when he talked. He kept nudging Brian's side or squeezing his arm every time Brian gave him an idea. Brian liked feeling useful.

Once they finished eating, Fred cleaned up and grabbed Brian's hand pulling him to the couch. Brian didn't protest. He flicked the TV on for background noise as they chatted away. Brian went on about his upstairs neighbors and how they always have sex at 3 pm and it's so loud. Freddie let out a roar and suggested he should take a walk during their playtime. That's when Brian froze on the spot. It didn't go unnoticed by Freddie.

"What's with the face?" Freddie asked tilting his head.

"I just realized I haven't left my flat in over 20 days." He admitted pathetically, "Lazy fucking sod." He mumbled to himself out loud, he meant to say that in his head.

Fred used his finger to tilt Brian's chin up. "That's alright, Bri. Doesn't make you a lazy sod. Whenever you're ready to go out, let me know. I'll come with you." Freddie said softly.

Brian felt a wave a happiness takeover his body, immediately followed by the voice in his head saying, _Great now you're Fred's basket case, _he thought to himself."That's alright Fred, it'll probably be a while." Brian said giving the dark haired man an out.

"That's fine, I'll wait." He said squeezing Brian's hand.

Freddie stayed for a while longer before it got too late. He kissed Brian's cheek and told him to please take care of himself before walking out the flat. Brian shut the door and leaned his back against it before slumping to the floor. He had his hand resting on his cheek where Fred had kissed him.

*

The next day Brian was feeling good. He cleaned up his flat and showered. He put on a proper outfit and did his hair for the first time in nearly a month. He browsed on Pinterest on his Ipad for recipes ideas. He used to cook a lot, a new recipe almost every night. But not so much these days. He found a recipe for a veggie lasagna and opened his phone to text Fred the ingredients he needed. He added in a bottle of wine and more tea bags too. He felt bad about the big ordered and started wondering if he should cancel the order. He started pacing around his kitchen for a few minutes before he heard it phone go off.

**Afternoon Bri! I'll be getting your groceries soon. Might take a little longer since the order is bigger. Give me an hour? Fred x**

Of course, take your time. Thank you :) Bri x

**Are you cooking dinner for a date tonight ;)**

Brian laughed out loud at that. _A date? Good one. No one wants to go on a date with you,_ his intrusive thoughts barged in. Brian took a deep breath and gathered all his courage, which isn't a lot, and texted back.

No date tonight unless you'd like to have dinner with me.

Freddie's response came immediately.

**Well in that in case, I'll need two hours. One ** **to** ** get ready and one to get our groceries! :)**

See you then!

Brian held his phone his chest, trying to stop his heart from beating out of his chest. _**Our groceries, **_Brian smiled at the thought of something being his and Fred's. He looked around his flat, yeah it was clean. But it wasn't have a date over clean. He tidy up his flat to his liking, lit a pumpkin candle (pumpkin isn't romantic so he didn't look weird), set the kitchen up for cooking, and when he finished that he still had 30 minutes before Fred would be here.

He ran to his room to fix himself. He tried to fix his curls but of course they weren't cooperating today. _You look like shit every day, so it's not gonna surprise him today when you look like shit,_ he thought. He tried to shake himself of these thoughts. It was two mates having dinner. He's fine.

Freddie knocked on the door exactly 2 hours from he sent his text. And of course, he looked better than he usually did. Brian didn't think that was possible. He wore a beautiful blouse that was unbuttoned on the top and satin pants that hugged his body perfectly. His eye lined with black liner making them ever bigger. Brian had to stop his jaw from hitting the floor.

Freddie let himself in, as he always did, and dropped the bags on the counter. He pulled a small bouquet of flowers out and handed them to Brian.

"I don't go on dates often, but I do know flowers are a must on the first," Freddie said, flashing one of his big smiles that showed all his teeth.

Brian melted to the floor.

"Thank you, Fred. I uh, I didn't get you any flowers. Sorry," Brian stammered.

"Nonsense, you can get them the next time," Freddie said pulling Brian by the hand."Now I must be honest. I don't know how to use a microwave, so the cooking is all on you, Bri."

Brian let out laugh that startled Fred. "I knew you weren't perfect. I'll cook, you pour us wine and look handsome," Brian said. He was surprised with his own confidence. Freddie nodded taking a seat on the counter.

Brian was more nervous than ever. It's been so long since he cooked, let alone for a date. He tried to make casual conversation to distract him but his brain wasn't working. Luckily Fred saved him. He told Brian about his family, his job, his career, he nearly spilled the bottle of wine as he talked about his mate, Roger, and their latest shenanigans. Brian knocked back his glass of wine and poured himself another. He quickly realized how much more interesting Freddie was than him. Brian had one friend who still stuck around, Deaky. But he was a few years younger and still at Uni. After that, he didn't have friends. He didn't work. He didn't get into law school. He was pathetic.

"I've been going on about me, tell me about you," Freddie said grabbing Brian's hand. He immediately tensed up at the bit of affection.

"I'm pretty sure I told you everything about me Fred," Brian whispered, he put the veggie lasagna in the oven and turned back to Fred. "I'm not very interesting."

"You never told me you were a vegetarian." Freddie raised an eyebrow, "But I figured that out cos you never order meat. You never told me the name of you mate at Uni who you miss dearly. The one who encouraged you to come out to your parents. But after creeping your Facebook, don't judge me, I found out his name is Deaky. Don't know what kinda name that it. You never told me you hate law school, but I figured that out by listening to you. You only tell me surface things, but Brian you're so interesting. I want to know more about you," Freddie said pulling Brian close to him.

Brian had no idea Freddie had been paying that close attention to him.

"His name is John Deacon. Deaky's a nickname we gave him," Brian said, no idea why that was the only part he responded to.

"Bri," Freddie said cupping his face. "let me in." Brian looked at him and big eyes and nodded into Freddie's hands.

Once the food was done and the boy were seated at the table, Brian felt himself relaxing and opening up. Their conversations came so natural and Brian found himself laughing with another person for the first time in a long time. Yeah, He laughed when he texted Freddie, but laughing with him was so much better. Brian's been struggling with his demons for so long he forgot how beautiful it is to be alive.

Fred's constant reassuring smiles and arm touches, gave Brian everything he desperately needed. He complimented Brian's cooking after every bite. Causing Brian to blush and look away. Fred would hum a "no no no" and tilt Brian's face to his. Freddie offered to clean up and rinse off the dishes, promising to clean them before he left. Freddie brought them to Brian's couch, turning on the TV to find a movie, and with wine glasses in their hands.

A new movie was available to rent and Freddie raised an eyebrow to Brian.

"It's okay you if wanna buy it, it'll charge my parents card," Brian said with a bit of sadness in his voice.

"Oh, we're buying 12 movies tonight! To hell with them, let them pay the bill," Freddie said chuckling.

Freddie started the movie and shifted closer to Brian. He slowly put an arm around Brian's shoulders and Brian leaned into the dark haired man. Freddie made him feel alive. He made him feel beautiful. He made him worth something. _He'll realize how pathetic you are __and stop talking to you. Once he finds out he has to remind you to shower and force you to leave the flat, he'll leave. _Brian thought to himself. "Oh piss off!" Brian accidentally said out loud. He felt his face flush in embarrassment. He's been alone for so long he forgot he can't talk to his inner demons out loud. FUCK.

Freddie pulled his arm away and scooted over on the couch. "I'm sorry, Bri. I thought you were okay with that," Fred said in a worried tone.

"No it's not that," Brian started. _Just let him in, it's okay. _"I'm uh- I'm depressed. And the voice in my head is constantly feeding me these negative thoughts. I cannot get rid of them. It's been like this for years now, but after not getting into law school and my parents kicking me out, it's gotten worse," Brian said not looking at him.

"So I was telling that voice to piss off. Not you. I'm also not crazy but I don't know if you'll believe me on that one," Brian added in laughing.

Brian was waiting for Freddie to make fun of him. Shout terrible things at him. Tell him to stop being pathetic. He sat there waiting.

"Are you alright? Do you need a doctor? Or medication? Oh Bri, please don't tell me you hurt yourself. Or want to. Do you have suicidal thoughts? I'm sorry if I'm bombarding you, I just don't want you to feel alone. SHIT. How did I not notice," Freddie's voice was cracking. "I'm not trying to make this about me, but FUCK. I'm sorry love."

Brian stared at Freddie and tears started falling from his face. He lunged forward to Freddie and wrapped his arms around him. He nuzzled into Freddie's neck and sobbed. The ugly sob you do alone in your room. The one with snot coming out of your nose and you're wheezing. He was afraid Fred would push him away but instead he rubbed Brian's back and told him everything's gonna be okay. Brian wasn't sure how long they stayed like that. Freddie eventually leaned back so Brian could stay laying down on his chest. Freddie wiped his tears and snot with his own shirt as he rubbed Brian's hair. Neither one saying anything for the duration of the film.

"You wanna talk," Freddie asked as the credits rolled across the scene.

"I'm sorry I'm so pathetic," Brian said in a whisper.

"Stop talking like that. Brian, you are brilliant, beautiful, and some other nice B word. "

Brian sat up and stared at him. He smiled wide with his puffy red eyes. "I've never had someone treat me as kind as you have. Besides Deaky. But he's like a brother so that doesn't count," Brian explained. "So I don't know why my delivery boy is treating me kindly."

"Wow Bri, I thought we were friends! Now I'm just a delivery boy," Fred fake pouted. "I delivered your groceries that first day and I just wanted to be friends with you for some reason. And then I developed this big, fat, school girl crush on you." 

"You like me?"

"I couldn't be more obvious, Bri." Freddie said. He kept his distance but he wanted so badly to kill the curly haired boys lips. "I've never been with anyone whose depressed so I don't know what I'm doing. But I'll do better than my best. I want to be with you. That is if you want to be with me."

"Very much I do., Brian said holding Fred's hand.

"Oh, so you're like my boyfriend now? You're gonna cook me dinner and let me rub you're back? Let me kiss those lips I've been wanting to kiss since I met you," Freddie smirking as he scooter over to Brian

Brian met him in the middle and crashed their lips together. It was a soft kiss. Freddie took the lead, cupping his face and resting a hand on Brian's thin waist. Brian open his mouth inviting the older boy in, Freddie happily accepted that invite. Sliding his tongue into Brian's mouth. Freddie moved his hand to Brian's hair and slightly pulled the curls. Brian moaned a little too loud into Fred's mouth. Freddie pulled back first, but only to smile into Brian's lips. Giving them one more peck.

"You taste delicious." Fred said tilting his head.

Brian leaned close and whispered. "Keep up the flattery all you want but you're still doing the dishes."


End file.
